Wednesday, May 31, 2006

My 3rd Leg is like a baby's arm




This is pic is for real. It's a little baby boy in Shanghai that has 2 left arms. Not unlike my two left feet - *rimshot*

Doctors have been waiting to see which is is more developed before they take one away.

I say keep it.

He'll be a big hit with the ladies.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Restless Libido

I thought this was funny... This is the my horoscope from Chicago's Red Eye today.

'Suddenly, you're opening your little black book and calling every single person listed in it. Actually, it doesn't matter if they're single or not. You're calling for a hookup anyway. Mercury is stirring up that restless libido. Will you rein it in? Probably not.'

Look out world... here I come.

My pussy is tired



Ladies and Gentlemen - this was the longest 4 day weekend of my life.

I may need to stop drinking.

Words can't say how tired and boozey I feel today.

Expect a great podcast soon - with the Memorial Day updates.

Whoa.

tired.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Johnny Come Lately




So for years people have been telling me to watch GREY GARDENS - and today was the day I finally made it happen.

Holy balls.

So damn good. I couldn't get over it - I'm not over it - I'm going to need to watch it again - and maybe have it in my personal collection. It's too good.

I want people to come over to my house with turban/capes made of scarves and sweaters with broches on them and we'll make highballs in a jelly jar and eat butter pecan ice cream while a cat takes a shit behind my portrait. And maybe we can watch the movie together too.

This is of course in preperation for the new B'way show (coming this fall) of GREY GARDENS. Christine Ebersole already won the Drama Desk Award - and the CD will be out soon.

Can't wait.

Poor Little Gloria




Unreal. Literally.

Did anyone else see this episode of Oprah? Anderson Cooper was on talking about the struggles of his life and had mommy Gloria Vanderbilt on as well.

She looked SOoooooo frightening.

This picture is being very kind - when she spoke you could see that her face had been cut up unevenly and tucked in very weird places. She looked great as long as she was still.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Frankie the Craigslist Cockroach



As promised - here's the pic of Frankie to go with the craigslist listing we read on episode 50.

Thank you David J for forwarding it to me to pass off as my own.

If you haven't checked out the gala 50th show - DO IT. It's good.

Thanks for Listening


Last night our 50th episode of The Daily Purge posted and I just want to thank you all for listening to us for the past 7 months. It's weird to me that we have been doing these shows this long and it's the listeners like you that make it all worth while... I'm SO Danny Tanner right now. You all rock!
Oh, and here is the Jewel Tree that we were talking about on the show.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Yes Please




New CD in stores - and my hand - and iPod - today.

So far so good.

We've got songs co-written by Sheryl Crow, Keb' Mo, Pete Yorn
We've got some guest background vocals by one Miss Bonnie Raitt
We've got one happy Robbie

Listener Jimmy in the 80's

Here is our next picture from our listener challenge...

I love this picture... and the open shirt with pocket flaps... love it, though I must say, this almost seems 70's. But I ain't bitchin'... Hot stuff Jimmy... Hot!

Jimmy also sent us this picture of his friend with Charo... HA!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Pile of Jennifers




They don't know they are actually calling each other.

What are they saying?

God I Missed Him






So glad to see my Jesse again on last nights series finale.

Yummers.

I miss him.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Motha Fuckin' Change

It's all over... she just sang

For all of us opera-folks... let's just say... wow. Thanks Doug for the tip!

Fashion WHAT? on the el



So don't wear camoflouge pants with drawstrings around the ankles, high top K-swiss shoes (who knew they even made those), and then put a full Chicago Tribune in the pocket of your cargo pants on the el, and not expect one Rob Lindley to take a picture of it.

What the hell.

It's not a fashion don't - it's a fashion WHAT?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Denny Crane, I love this f-ing show!


I know that it has been around for a while now, but I am honestly smitten with Boston Legal. I think it is BY FAR the best David E. Kelly creation. I just watched the season finale on tivo last night... brilliance!

Today's the day

I had a great time this weekend guesting at the PNS Explosion. And the first of those episodes drops today.

Be sure to check it out. We love those boys.

Now - as we've mentioned time and again when JMichael and I do the 'cast we aren't in the same room - we're just chatting away on the old Skypes. I think it adds to our chitty chat vibe - well that and the Pinot Noir. But at the PNS it feels like a low low low low tech radio station. So much so that for all of us to have a mic they had to put a body mic on a rubber spatula and either hold it or be inventive like the cutey Scott and do a make shift Janet/Britney/Rent/Garth Brookes/McDonald's headset for yourself.

So keep listenin' to the Purge - and tell all of your friends - but also check out our buddies on PNSexplosion.com



Too bad he's not totally hot.

Whoa.

I should stop typing.

now

I mean now

No w

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sorry...


I just realized there was some technical problems with the show last night... hopefully it didn't ruin your experience... I'm sure I would have caught it but I was busy decorating my drunk friend here.

I Love the 80's

Our dear listener Eddie from DC sent in this pic of he and his friend in the 80's. He is the one in the yellow parachute pants.

F-ing Love IT!

NEW LISTENER CHALLENGE: SEND US YOUR BEST 80's PIC.

You asked for it. . . . .




What do you think wet Alan Cumming smells like?

Stick it McPhee




Baby Jon found this one.

She could and might have eaten Katherine McPhee for lunch.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

F-ing Love it




Love it love it love it.

I wanna see Cyndi in Threepenny Opera bad.

The Tony Nominations are out today.

Go Felicia Fields! Chicago girl!

Monday, May 15, 2006

JMH's BAN LIST = Sbarro



So, today for lunch I was walking to the Coalmine Cafeteria and noticed a very long line for the grill where I get my plain hamburger (6 points). I was running short on time and the line was not moving at all. So I figured that I would just grab a quick slice of pizza at the Sbarro stand. I figured that this probably wasn't the most healthy choice, but whatever, it needed to be quick. Besides, a slice of Papa John's pizza is only 7 points so I thought the Sbarro, with it's larger size might be a little more, but not too bad. Well, let me tell you that I looked that shit up the minute that I sat back down at my desk and wouldn't you know it... the fucking slice of pizza was mother fucking 17 POINTS!!! Those assholes! Now, because of my 5 point breakfast, I have 2 points left for the rest of the fucking day! Sbarro... you are officially on the JMH BAN LIST!

Attack!




I just watched this 10 times in a row.


This is almost exactly what it's like to try to get from the bedroom door to the bed at my place. Shirley the wonder cat will attack you.

and by you I mean a little harmless baby in a flower garden.

Drunk with Harriet Sansom Harris



Our listener and good friend Michael with his MAME co-star Harriet Sansom Harris.

All I wanted for him was for him to become besties with her - and judging by the dancing and the red plastic cup of vodka I think the mission is accomplished.

Michael's quote about the pic "We might be dancing to 'Thriller' just so you know"

Friday, May 12, 2006

Who Stole My Cheese?

Me... after my prostate exam today

Mom's Day


Don't forget about Mother's Day on Sunday. She didn't forgot to give birth to you... you selfish bitch.

Go Team Chicago



As promised - here's a pic and a web address for TeamChicago.org.

For a mere $30 Chicago Gays can get a track suit - and march with the home team.

It's not the chicago flag like we had said on the podcast - but it is baby blue - with a logo in the same of "The Bean" sculpture that is in Millenium Park. Which I think is really called Sky Gate or something totally gay like that.

Cloud Gate - that's it.


Thursday, May 11, 2006

My Niece... the Drunk

Just look at her... I need to get her into rehab quick before she turns out like my other niece...

The Boys of After-School.

I miss these boys... back before MPG was showing his ass on NYPD Blue and ML was playing a gay diver... oh wait... that's way better... nevermind

thank God for Lisa Whelchel



The Facts Of Life - that my Heavenly Father taught me



A Busy Mom's guide to prayer



And so you're thinking about home schooling. . . .

I'm also thinking about throwing a book at you Blair

Star's Dictionary



There is really no good excuse why I happened to land on starjones.com, but when I did, I found this banner. "I am the author of the only dictionary that defines me." After I threw up a little in my mouth, I decided to look some things up in Star's Dictionary:

gay-man (noun): People who sin and are definately not my husband because he loves the relations with me.
self-loving (adj.): I loves me, and my boobs, and I loves my man who is NOT gay!
bitch (noun): Rosie , Joy, and people that say my husband is gay... he's not gay, he's going down on me right now.

I'm going to be sad when she gets the boot on the view... but oh well, I'm over it.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Meatballs

I promised some folks I'd blog this. If you go to Youtube.com you'll find even more delights from MissJackie.

I don't know what exactly to say about her.

What do you think?


Faith the bi-ped Doug

Jake eating a hamburger with beard.

Ooooooh NO! Part 3

Whatever this fella did that deserves such punishment, he probably remembers this for life.


From our listener Anne. My favorite part? The prep work they do for each "turn" - who knew stretching like that would have such results.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Juliet Prowse




I don't really have anything to say about this - I just think it's fucking fab

stupid F-ing IKEA




And for those of you who heard the "Keep Your Clothes On" episode of our podcast - this is a pic of the highly unstable coffee table that you just have to sneeze on it have your living room floor covered in hot wax and remote controls.

Just so you know.

David Blaine IS stupid. . . .




but a little hot, right? Such an idiot - but kinda has that dirty papi thing goin on.

But for my money? Give me Doug Henning

David Blaine is stupid


After all this build up about breaking the world record for holding ones breath, which is 9 mins., this pussy didn't even make it to 8. AND how is this considered magic? There is nothing magic about it... holding your breath, give me a break... give me David Copperfield, that bitch can fly... now that's magic.

More Ruth Buzzi Yoga

Maaaaaaaaary



You know i was just thinking today that's there's no place like home - with your family around you, you're never alone.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Star Jones Booby Flaps

Not Because You're Gay. . . .




So did you watch Desperate Housewives last night? If you haven't tough shit - cause I'm gonna give some shit away. So Bree has had it with her son - who wouldn't at this point. The little fucker even slept with her boyfriend. Twisted. So she takes him on a ride and drops him off in the middle of no where like a pregnant cat you're trying to ditch. He says to her that he wins, and that the moment he told her he was gay he knew that she would stop loving him. She says, "good for you" and drives away, leaving his punk ass.


How about - "I'm not leaving you because you're gay - I'm leaving you here because you're a horrible person who needs to get the fuck out of my life - suck as much dick as you want - but stop being an asshole."

That's all - I didn't like that it made the leaving the son about his sexuality.

Weight... Watch this...

So I have just completed my first week of Weight Watchers and all is going well. I have not gone over my allotted points and my mood swings have stabilized, all thanks to my wonderful sponsor... Vicki.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Anderson and the Queen

I've always wondered what type of man Anderson Cooper was attracted to... well, there you have it folks... the love child of Liza and Peter.

AMAZING Race indeed



So as many of you know - I love the quiz programs - how about these fucking pictures of 2 of the final remaining teams from The Amazing Damn Race?! For those of you who don't watch - there's always nicknames for the teams. Pictured are the Frat Boys and The Hippies - I'm sure you can figure out who's who. So the Frat Boys have spent the whole race talking about pussy and tail. So how about these pics of them totally loaded that are as faggy as possible?



This last one gives me a 3/4 -